Mark’s Notes On The Go

Last night I chanced across a former associates’ web page and her description of the Botcon in 2001. It brought back a flood of memories. You see, we once had friends in common who last night I saw pictures of and read about. These were people I thought I’d be friends with until the close of our lives. We haven’t spoken in around 4 years. It wasn’t an amiable parting of ways. One friend in particular, the linchpin in our group, and someone I had once written to and thought a great deal of, was basically MIA. I knew where she was, but I never heard anything from her and in the world of e-mail, that’s a deafening silence. I knew others who felt they’d gotten the same cold shoulder and had made a few gentle nudges before finally saying how I felt. That she was ignoring other friends in favor of this one other friend. Maybe I overreacted. It’s so long ago now that I’ve forgotten so many of the details. That was pretty much the end of it, shock from her, an angry e-mail from the one friend she stayed in touch with, and I dabbed ointment on the wounds and moved on with things.

Some months later, the only friend we still have in common told me that these two friends were engaged. You might think I’d have been surprised considering they were both females, but for some reason, it made sense. And I’m accepting enough to, say, “okay, best wishes and much happiness.” But it didn’t end there, the friend I’d once felt I’d know the rest of my life as a friend, had come to the conclusion she was never meant to be female and was going to make the necessary changes to correct nature’s oversight. I think I saw “him” at BotCon this past year, the first I’d attended in the year’s since we went our seperate ways. But this photo and description of the events at last year’s con in which this old associate kept referring to him by his new name so acceptingly, was the first time I’d accepted the changes in my heart and mind. I don’t think our paths will ever really cross again. But I think I’ve finally accepted the person he is now and wish him and his intended all the best.

My Trip Through LA (Lower Alabama)

A few weeks ago now, my mom and I made a weekend trip through southern AL and spent two nights in the town she grew up in, Andalusia. My dad’s family was in the same county for like four generations (really beyond if you consider my cousin and his children live in Andalusia). There aren’t a lot of places where I feel a sense of roots. My mom’s family, I joke, are like generational nomads. Every generation in my direct lineage ended up somewhere away from their roots. My dad’s family is comparably more rooted. Yet neither my dad or his siblings live close to where they grew up. I digress! I had a good time soaking up history and seeing places I remember from my earliest memories (when I was very small and my dad taught and had summers off, we would spend a good chunk of the summer at my maternal grandmother’s home there).

I also saw my grandmother twice on the trip, on the way to Andalusia and on the way home. She was in the hospital having had a bad bout with pneumonia. I had no idea until I saw her, a week into her recovery, how close we came to losing her. We still don’t know just how much she was mentally impaired by the oxygen deprivation at the worst of it. When I saw her, she was fuzzy on who people were and just generally not well. I understand as of last night this may have improved some, and I hope that’s so. Even as she’s 91 years old now, I’m not prepared and can’t be, to see her shuffle off this mortal coil. But when it is her time, I hope it’s easy and she knows how many good memories we all have of her. Hopefully those memories will be enough to fill the void in our lives….